In just a few hours I’m leaving for a 3 day Sexual Integrity Leaders Summit in Atlanta. I’m looking forward to this conference which boasts the following goal:
The Holy Spirit is moving to take back ground in defining holy sexuality. Join with others passionate about intentionally addressing issues, concerns, and questions related to sexual wholeness, sexual integrity, and finding freedom in Christ. Get equipped with the tools and resources you need.
This conference comes on the heels of me and my wife attending the Pure Life Ministries annual conference which proved to be a powerful encounter with the Lord. Over this past week I have been reading Steve Gallagher’s book, A Biblical Guide to Counseling the Sexual Addict, which has helped to reaffirm the reality of my own experience in dealing with habitual sexual sin: The best medicine is Jesus.
I sometimes get this upside down. Sometimes I will convince myself that there are other solutions to my problem besides Jesus. For instance, sometimes I get to thinking that the best medicine is the group of men I meet with weekly in SAA. Or I get to thinking the best medicine is working the 12 steps, or making more phone calls, or reading more recovery literature or going for a run.
The truth is, all of these are good things, but not the best thing. In my experience, the only times I have known profound, lasting victory is when I submitted to Jesus and his ways of healing my sinful, broken heart.
Gallagher reminds me that the medicine Jesus prescribes is repentance. Repentance is the precursor for real, lasting change for anyone caught in habitual sin (sexual or otherwise). This repentance must come from godly sorrow over our sin as opposed to worldly sorrow over having gotten caught (or having hurt someone we love. See 2 Cor. 7:10).
I want to close this out by sharing what Gallagher’s lists as the four basic components to receiving this medicine which Jesus offers to each and every one of us who will place their trust in him. You can find these on pages 40-41 in the book referenced above.
- Poverty of spirit: seeing one’s need to change and coming to the realization that he cannot accomplish this change without the power of God.
- Mourning over sin: as the person begins to face the ugliness of his behavior, he becomes broken over it.
- Submission to God: as the sin in one’s heart is exposed, true repentance occurs. Self-will is replaced by submission to God’s authority.
- Fruits of repentance: as God is allowed to conquer the man’s heart, a change occurs which becomes evident in the way he lives his life.
It is vital that you, as counselor, lead the man out of habitual sin and into this kind of genuine repentance. He cannot conjure up this experience for himself. He must seek God for it. The counselor’s role in helping the counselee see his need for a radical inward transformation and praying that he receives it.
Praying with and for you. Pray for me as I am at this conference this weekend!
Grace and peace,