I want to be very heavy.
I remember when I was giving over to sexual sin all the time I felt very light. I did not have any real direction and could be swayed any which way with the slightest push. The last book I read was always the best book, and anything novel, or new, was king. When talking to others I was a yes-man, eager to have their approval and liking, even if I didn’t necessarily agree with what they were saying. The compass of my life was always spinning, pointing in whatever direction my desires for that day led. When talking with others I was not fully present but easily distracted and lifted away by the slightest breeze.
C.S. Lewis writes in his book, Weight of Glory,
It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
Another image of his comes to mind, I believe it’s from The Great Divorce, and I am sure I am not remembering it correctly but the word-picture I recall him painting of our bodies in heaven are such that they are heavy, or weighted, with holy desires and purpose. On earth we were light and flighty, but in heaven we are solid and immovable. We are full of the fullness of His glory.
I believe God is preparing us to know such weightiness even now, and that we can know it in greater and greater degree, or from glory to glory (2 Cor. 3:18), as we pursue Christ and His holiness. Paul writes,
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison… (2 Cor. 4:16-17).
Like I said, I want to be heavy. Don’t you? I want this “eternal weight of glory” ever increasing in my inner-man, out-weighing day by day the outer-man which is wasting away. I don’t want to be tossed to and fro by my fleshly desires which are too weak and fickle when compared to the incomparable glory of God and the treasures He has in store for those who will seek Him and His righteousness first, above all else.
The “momentary affliction” which we must all bear as our “outer-man” dies is worth it! I pray that God will give you and I the strength we need for today to grow up in Him, and to bear the weight of His glory for the world to see. Let’s get heavy!