This morning my wife shared her testimony to a group of 60 or so women. It’s not the first time she has been invited to do something like this but it never ceases to amaze me that she is doing this. I’m blown away once more by the amazing ability of God to do miracles in people’s lives.
You see, what happened today shouldn’t be happening. At this time 3 years ago I was a bum living in an economy hotel taking a taxi to work at Little Caesars while Amy was high on anti-depressant/anxiety drugs and knocked out on sleeping pills. I was eating cold pizza every night for dinner, alone and glued to my laptop in my “Free Wi-Fi” hotel room while Amy was contemplating suicide and struggling to stay awake long enough to drive our 5 kids to school each morning. The divorce was to be finalized in 3 months and I was wondering how I was going to come up with $2000 a month to pay in child support and alimony. Nothing was good. All was hopeless. We were both dead inside – towards God, each other, and a future with any significance.
Guys and gals, if you think porn is a harmless habit, something private which won’t hurt anyone, you are a fool. Like I was. Stop being a fool. Please.
So as you can see, it’s an absolute miracle that today, 3 years later, my wife would be able to stand before a group of women and proclaim the power of Jesus Christ to break through even the hardest and miserable of hearts and resurrect not just a marriage but the faith of two very lost souls.
I wanted to write this today because I wanted to give praise to God for what He has done in my life, my wife’s life, my kids’ life, our ministry, and more. I am so proud of her and the woman she is, and the woman she is becoming by God’s grace.
I also wanted to write this to encourage anyone reading who is in the pit today. Whether you are the addict or the one living with one, we know the hell you experience every waking moment. I know what it’s like to think there is no possible way life could exist apart from lustful thoughts and compulsions, and Amy knows what it’s like to feel utterly alone and abandoned by God and to fight constantly the battle of wanting to leave but not knowing how or to where.
So how can I encourage you? By shouting this one simple, yet world-altering truth as loud as I can and for as long as I can:
GOD HAS THE POWER TO MAKE YOU NEW!!
It’s true! God doesn’t want to “fix” you, He wants to do a complete overhaul on your life! Yes, the foolish you, the deluded you, the drunk-on-porn you, the high-on-drugs you, the suicidal-thinking you, the depressed you, the cheating you, the lying you, the struggling-just-to-stay-alive-one-more-hour you, cannot imagine any other life because the life God can and will impart to you will require the current you to DIE! The moment you realize and believe that God doesn’t desire to make the you you currently are better but to make a brand new creation out of chaos and brokenness is the moment you are on your way towards sanity. Towards a new life. Towards a testimony which God is going to design in ways you can’t imagine right now but will one day bring Him glory and honor and praise. Why? Because this is what God does. The same God who spoke a universe into existence is the same God ready to create a new you.
So cry out. Cry out to a Father who loves and cares for you so much that He died for you while you were still in this mess, snubbing Him at every turn. He loves you that much! He didn’t bleed for you so that you can live in bondage to sin and shame. Cry out. Be willing to die. Be willing to allow God to create you all over again.
God is looking for people to showcase His amazing ability to do the impossible. Like my wife, who shared a testimony today which goes against all the odds. Thanks be to God that our Father in Heaven is a odd-beating God.
And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know,
in paths that they have not known I will guide them.
I will turn the darkness before them into light,
the rough places into level ground.
These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them (Isaiah 42:16).